Parent Life + Sex Life Reboot

Roll back to 2021. Tara is 41. She’s a mum to two beautiful, energetic kids, aged 8 and 4. She’s also an entrepreneur and in the exciting yet very demanding start-up phase of setting up her own business. 

In general, life is good. 

Except that she finds it very difficult to orgasm. 

Which leaves her feeling frustrated and her husband too 😖

The past year of the pandemic has been extremely stressful for them. It’s been exhausting. And became a massive crisis point in their relationship. 

The thing is they both respond to stress differently. For Tara, sex goes to the bottom of her priority list and she has zero interest in it. Michael wants more sex - it helps him feel safe, and her body & their intimacy is a shelter for him from the chaos around. 

These opposing responses cause an obvious tension and disconnect for them as a couple.  

Recently Tara realised she had experienced trauma and has been trying to deal with that too. 

She noticed how it was difficult to speak openly about sex with Michael - what she likes or what turns her on. Even though he was being very supportive of her. She wondered was it down to Catholic guilt, lack of sex-positive education, trauma or a combination of all these? 🤷‍♀️

She breastfed her kids, which she describes as one of the most beautiful things she’s ever done. And along with that feeling, for a long time she also had a sense that her breasts, her body, were not her own. 

Plus the ongoing exhaustion of parenting has kept her sex life at bay. 

Tara & Michael started using some sex toys together during love-making, which helped Tara feel more pleasure and climax. 

But Tara was still looking for something deeper to explore her sexuality. 

She knew there was another way of living and feeling. With sexuality at the centre of it and not just at 10pm at night when the kids are asleep. 

She wanted to feel like a sexual being. 

Tara signed up for the Feminine Sexual Alchemy (FSA) programme earlier this year and within a few weeks noticed major changes: 

💚 “I feel sexier, more at peace and in love with my body”

For the first time she could look in the mirror and say “hey, you’re beautiful”. Even though Michael had told her this thousands of times before, she never really believed it about herself. This new found self love and acceptance gave her a confidence she didn't have before.

💋 “I started to enjoy sex more and now I’m the one initiating sex” 

Tara is more easily aroused and enjoys self pleasuring when she’s in the mood as well as having sex with her husband. And now she’s the one initiating sex! And it’s more playful.

She’s become much more aware of her genitals and they’re no longer compartmentalised as a birthing function or for monthly menstruating. She’s not shy with Michael anymore and sees her genitals as beautiful, just like all of her body is beautiful. 

She discovered new ways of being turned on, like gentle caressing and is no longer feeling in a hurry or under pressure to orgasm. 

Lovemaking has become more conscious and slower, and as a couple they’ve discovered the energetic dimension of sex. 

🧒🏽👦🏼 “I’ve more energy and I’m more available for my kids”

With all the Qigong and energy practices, Tara finds she naturally wakes up earlier and has more energy. “I wake up without feeling exhausted”.  

In the past when the kids asked her to do an activity with them, she often said no because she was just too tired. It happens when you’re running on empty and managing to do the bare minimum. Now she’s saying ‘yes’ to baking together, ’yes’ to running in the park! 

🧘🏻‍♀️ “I feel more stable and less stressed”

Tara found that the breathing practices & Qigong have given her the energy to handle life.  The meditations have helped her release stress. She enjoys her time with the kids more, has more patience and has noticed she shouts less.

😊 “I had no period pain”

On those months that Tara was doing 10-15 minutes practice almost every day she had no pain with her periods and lost a lot less blood, which meant she wasn’t as tired. Her cycle also became a regular 28 days cycle - the first time since she got the IUD in place. 

Tara describes FSA as ✨ MAGIC ✨.

“It’s a beautiful, peaceful path of discovery of looking inwards and connecting with who I am. I felt so safe and secure with how Máire taught - there was a real sense of peace when I tuned into the programme. I finally felt fully alive in all aspects of my life including my sexuality”.

Our next Feminine Sexual Alchemy programme starts in March 2024 - find out more and join it here: https://www.femininesexualalchemy.com/fsa-programme

(This story has been courageously shared and with permission to share here with you. The names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

Artwork shared with permission by Broken Isn’t Bad)